First Transmission by B. R. Louis
Author:B. R. Louis [Louis, B. R.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: CamCat Publishing
12
THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH
Reserve calorie logs were intended for consumption if the crew utilized all two centuriesâ worth of fabricator components or developed a relentless fear of ordering. Preserved with a proprietary blend of sodium, food-safe asphalt remover, and micronized mold-addressed cease and desist letters, the logs could be stored almost indefinitely as insulation in the ship walls. They were meant both as a source of short-term sustenance, as they had a one-month supply, and as a form of punishment for not using the fabricator. Early reports cited the fabricator had sensitive feelings and, if unused, would enter a deep depression and refuse to work. That was later debunked as a power outage. But the punishment calorie logs had already been forged.
Paizley hunched over the newly minted crater inside the floor of the ship and hammered away at ongoing repairs. Hoomer sat across from Aimond and Zanartas at one of the remaining tables.
âDigging the new ready-for-battle look,â she remarked.
âIs it bad?â he asked. Down one eyebrow and slathered in a synthetic aloe from Dr. Cole, Aimondâs escape from the food-borne young milk-star was short of divine intervention.
âIâm sure itâll make the other combatants . . . something,â Hoomer said.
âFall on their own weapons while laughing hysterically?â Galileo added.
âCan you guys even laugh?â Hoomer asked Zanartas.
âWe express humor by expelling air through both mouths simultaneously.â
âSounds like a laugh to me.â
Zanartas inhaled then released a stereophonic blast of screeches, croaks, and burps. The noise collapsed the metal sheet of flooring into the crater Paizley had managed to reattach thus far.
âI immediately rescind everything I have ever said,â Hoomer backtracked, eyes fixed forward.
She pushed the remnants of her calorie log across the table to Zanartas.
âNo thank you,â Zanartas declined. âOur glorious leaders state that hunger builds character and character builds wealth.â
âAnd wealth buys food, so eat.â
Elizar trudged into the galley, stepping over the hole without the least bit of curiosity. He snatched an entire plate of calorie logs, rations for over a week, and joined the table. Despite the unique combination of circumstancesâmelted galley on an alien world, before a life-or-death battle royale, while eating pain-inducing calorie logsâhe managed to find just the right war story to match the bill.
âYou ready, kid?â Elizar probed, assuming his ignored war story to act as sufficient hype.
âIn the past twelve hours I lost an arm and almost melted in a sun made of milk,â Aimond said.
âArtificial milk substitute,â Galileo corrected.
âThanks . . . Anyway, I figure Iâm probably better off here, doing ship stuff. Paizley, you need a hand?â
Balanced in a delicate dance of friction and angles, Paizleyâs stack of metal plates wobbled at the mere sight of them.
âDo you still have any you can offer?â
âIâd give you anything I had left,â Aimond expressed.
The collective groan harmonized enough to make Paizleyâs tower topple.
âHorridly cheesy,â Galileo said.
âKinda worse than the calorie log,â Hoomer added.
âYou best have more fight in you than game,â Elizar hoped.
Aimond lifted and flopped his arms down in a brief defeat. âReally? All of you?â he complained.
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